honestly i prefer it is not true.

 

my older brother broke up with his gf several days ago. he called me that night, after getting a little drunk. i could easily feel that he was trying so hard to hold back his tears. it was the first time when i heard him crying.

 

i cannot find a word to make him feel better. they were so in love that they often talked about the marriage thing. the smiles on their faces even made me sort of jealous.. joking~ but i was really happy for them. being together for 4 years.. it was never a short time.

 

he told me that his confidence had gone. he was not sure if he could find another chance to be involved in a relationship, or how long it would take to get over this issue and move on.

 

i asked why things happened like this. silence between us almost killed me. after a while he said: "she said the love has gone. and soon she will go to Korea with a korean guy."

 

i was stunned. words failed me. i could not believe it was true. she used to love my brother so much. she often told me she was happy. and i treated her as my family, trusred her, and loved her.

 

"love fades. never give your heart completely to someone. this is what i learn from the EXPERIENCE." my brother told me so.

 

i don't know. i am not sure if i can agree with this.

 

love fades? if so, how pathetic we are.

 

 

i came across the word yesterday. and surprisingly i like it so much~ no reason~

 

these days it has been too COLD here, raining on and off, and the sky gray.. without my favorate bright sunshine, which  kinda makes me down.

 

Olympics are going well in Beijing~ when the red flag is rising, when the song is playing, when tears are running on faces, i feel so proud~~ i am so grateful that i am a Chinese!! i love my country so much, which i have never realized before.

 

my flight is due on Aug 26th.  only 10 days left here.. sort of upset

but on the other hand, i have begun to expect to be back. NJ, though far less wonderful than CQ, is one of my second cities~

i might should learn to love it more

 

the coming days are full of uncertainties. fear or not. i am not sure.

 

i wanna my sunshine back!!!!!

Linkin P always offers me something special.

recently they have come back, playing and singing over and over again.

they cure me, and also complete me.

 

i know things are different now, and i know i can never fix it by myself.

i am just a sherry. only a sherry. ^@^

 

they have their own life. i have no right to ask them to do anything.

all i should do is accept the reality, and just let go.

i am so worried. i hope they both can have a better life.

cuz they deserve better after all.

 

i know they don't belong to each other.

but where?

and where do i belong?

 

i am lacking in the sense of belonging.

how pathetic.